I’m really confused on how I’ve suppose to view myself. I have this idea that I would like to be as perfect, for myself, as possible. Yet I don’t even know what that would mean. Would that really mean that I never get upset, I never yell, I never cry, and that I’m always happy, nice, caring? Too be honest I don’t really get upset, yell, or cry much, actually I probably don’t do it enough. I try my hardest to be happy, nice, and caring around people. So why am I still so hard on myself? Will I really never be good enough for myself? What standards am I comparing myself to? I don’t even know and it’s me. I should know, but I don’t. Not too mention looks. What am I suppose to look like? I try so hard to be at my goal weight, but I just can never reach it. In ways I think I’m afraid to reach it because what happens if I’m still unhappy with my body? Am I obsessed? Yes, yes I am. I know that. It’s un-natural and defiantly unhealthy. To stare at a mirror is torture. I’d like nothing more than to take a baseball bat and beat the crap out of my own refection.

My advice is: Love yourself for who you are. Once you tear yourself down, you can’t stop. You will never let yourself be happy and you should guaranty yourself happiness. It’s your life, no one else should be able to control how you feel. I know we let people do so all the time, but it won’t make you happy.